wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
