That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
