Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
