I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
