Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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