R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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