my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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