well I can't set my house on fire every night
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
