Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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