Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
