I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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