just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?