Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize