You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
