I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC