Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me