I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.