I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize