Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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