He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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