I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
