I love black thongs
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
