How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
