Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize