If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
