Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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