I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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