I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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