TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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