So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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