So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
