Welp...herpes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
