If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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