I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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