just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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