i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
