just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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