was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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