I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
