Having a random hookup so left but love u
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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