I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
