Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
