I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
