I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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