Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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