he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
