i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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