where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
