Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Welp...herpes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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