I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
