Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
