Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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