I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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