I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
