Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
