Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
