i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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