ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
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I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
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Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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