Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My first STD was from a foam party
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
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So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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