Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
