No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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