i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
