My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
