It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I believe in your delicious
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
