he thought i was a dude.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
