I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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