so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
